How Our Family “Does” Christmas.

Now that we’ve had children we’ve really had to think about the how and what of Christmas. How do we teach the girls the real meaning of Christmas? How are are we going to keep it Christ centered? What are we going to tell them about Santa?

A couple of years ago I learned about the Elf On The Shelf. I thought it was a really cute idea. You buy this little elf and hide him around your house each night so your kids can find him in the morning. You tell the kids that the elf is “always watching” and will tell Santa if they are naughty. The kids enjoy trying to find the elf’s new location every day and are more aware of their behavior and how it might affect what they will get for Christmas. I thought this was a cute idea so we got one. My girls named him “Diego”.

See him? He’s trying to blend in with all my other ornaments, waiting to be found by Katelyn and Madelyn.

We liked the Elf On The Shelf idea until we started thinking about how wanted to “do” Christmas for our family as our kids were growing up. Did we want Santa and his Elf to be the main focus? Did we want our girls to base their behavior on “Santa watching” and being put on the naughty girl list and therefore get less presents for Christmas? After our girls started getting a little older and understanding more what Christmas was about we really wanted to make Christmas only about Jesus. And family. And thankfulness.

We were finding it hard to focus on Jesus when the girls were thinking about Santa and getting lots of Christmas presents. Katelyn started really asking about Santa so we finally told the girls the truth. They weren’t really bothered by it. Plus, they were still young enough for it not to rock their world that the jolly man didn’t really exist! We did give them the order that they may NOT TELL THEIR FRIENDS THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA. We explained that many children still believe in Santa and that they would ruin the surprise if my girls walked around telling their friends he doesn’t exist. I know that “doing Santa” is a personal decision for each family and it’s not my job (or my children’s) to take away that choice from them.

We haven’t erased Santa completely from our home. We are actually going to learn about Saint Nicholas and who he was and where Santa originated from. The character of Santa is actually derived from a man who did some wonderful and charitable things!

We still read stories about Santa and watch Christmas cartoons with him in it. Then there’s the Christmas songs on the radio. But we do all of these things knowing that the spirit of Christmas is Jesus. And we read lots of books and listen to lots of Christmas songs that talk about Jesus’ birth and real reason for the season. I will share some of the Christ centered Christmas activities we’re doing in a later blog post.

These are some thoughts we had that really helped make the Santa/no Santa decision for us:

1. Do I want my kids being good because it’s the right thing to do and GOD is watching? Or because an Elf is going to tell Santa about how good or bad my kids are being and that reflects on how many gifts they are getting. I didn’t want my girls only focused on getting lots of gifts.

2. How could I, in good conscious, let Santa play the starring role on the day we celebrate our Savior’s birth? I felt like trying to do both would only confuse our girls.

3. In trying to teach our girls responsibility with money, being happy with less and being thankful for what we do have, I want them to know it is us who buys them their gifts. Not only do we want to set a good precedent but I don’t want Santa getting credit for our hard work! And trust me, our girls get plenty of gifts. Whether they get 5 or 15 gifts we want them to be thankful for their gifts and understand that hard earned money was spent on their gifts. And that our family isn’t going into debt so they can have a ton of gifts to open.

4. We want them to understand that their behavior is not going to affect how many gifts they get. Being extra good isn’t going to get them more and more gifts and being “bad” isn’t going to make us buy them less. We’re not going to hold a grudge the whole month of December for any kind of naughty behavior and on Christmas morning give them a lump of coal. Our parenting should reflect love, mercy and grace. We deal with naughty behavior as it happens, they apologize and all is forgiven. We don’t keep a Naughty Or Nice list.

The elf still makes his appearance each Christmas season. But it’s not to keep tabs on my girls’ behavior. Each night I hide him before I go to bed and the girls can’t wait to wake up the next morning and try to find him. Then once he’s found they hide him for me. I think this will be a fun tradition to start.

I write this blog post to share with you how we celebrate Christmas and “do” Santa etc. Not to judge or tell others how they should do it. As I mentioned before, each family has to celebrate Christmas as they feel lead to. I hope I was able to coherently and concisely convey my heart on this subject!

How do you celebrate Christmas? Do your kids believe in Santa?

Tags: believing in Santa, Santa, The Elf On The Shelf

Comments

Debra

We do the whole Santa thing and the Elf of the Shelf. But I think Joseph is going to spoil the fun before we are ready for him too. When they found Elfie for the first time this year, he said, “He’s not real. He’s a toy”. LOL! Then he said, “I really know it’s you moving him”. :) I just said, “Let’s just have fun with it”.
Lydia

My favorite thing to say this time of year is “Remember, Santa’s watching! And more importantly, God is watching all the time.” That’s my warning before we go full blown into punishment mode. I do like the point that we don’t hold grudges and gifts don’t reflect on their behavior. I’ve already wrapped presents and put them under the tree and Garrett had a really hard time with that. First he asked if Santa had come and then he kept saying presents weren’t supposed to be under the tree until Christmas morning. How do you explain “I had some free time and spent it wrapping presents and I have no place to keep them, so they’re going under the tree?” haha So I told him that most of their presents come from us and Santa only has room to bring them 1 or 2 presents and fill their stockings. I don’t push Santa really hard, but until Garrett point blank asks, I’ll play along. And Santa definitely doesn’t get credit for the good presents around here! He gives them each a mid-grade gift and one joint present. The good stuff comes from us.
Catie

Great post, Mel. We feel the same way about Santa. We never tell the kids that Frosty the Snowman is real (or any other fantasy character for that matter) but we still enjoy the story and watching the show every year. It’s the same with Santa. We don’t have to tell them he’s real to enjoy and appreciate the story. Although, St. Nicholas was real.
Lmlafleur

My kids truly believe in Santa. Kaitlyn believes all magical creatures do exist. She has asked me if I believe in mermaids and I told her truthfully, no. She then asked my why and I told her that I had never seen a mermaid. Her answer, “just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist”. She is 100% correct! I think once the kids start to really question Santa then I will explain that Santa is really St. Nicholas. Since St. Nicholas is no longer alive and we as parents are carrying on his tradition of giving children gifts at Christmas. My kids realize that we are celebrating Jesus’s birth and our love that we have for each other. I think we have a good balance of the true meaning of Christmas and Santa, Elves and Reindeer thrown in!
Laurie
http://www.domesticdelirium.com Stephanie Perryman

I think you’re doing a great job at teaching your kids the real meaning of Christmas. I’m not anti-Santa by any means, but I doubt I will ever make a very big deal about him. We’ll see next year when Brooklyn understands a lot more about what is going on.

We are doing the 3 gifts thing: one spiritual gift, one emotional gift and one physical gift. This year, we’re giving both girls a picture Bible (spiritual obviously), Brooklyn is getting some books (emotional I guess) and then a toy which I haven’t bought yet. Layla will get a toy (which I haven’t bought yet) and something else but I don’t know what yet, it’s hard to get a baby an “emotional” gift but I might do something sentimental that she can appreciate when she’s older or something.

I think the Elf on a Shelf is a really cute idea and I might do something similar next year but just get my own unique stuffed animal and do our own tradition. Brooklyn loves this snowman mom has so maybe I’ll buy a snowman and we’ll do something like that everyday in December.

We are also doing the Jesse Tree and I like this tradition and think I will do it every year. I think I’m going to save the ornaments from each year in a manila envelope and put the year on the outside so that the girls can look back when they are older and see what they made and maybe even use them on their trees when they have their own families. It would be neat for them to pass on to their own kids!

Great post!
http://www.domesticdelirium.com Stephanie Perryman

I think this is a great concept. Teaching her about St. Nicholas and that Santa is our way of carrying on his story. I think I’m going to steal it next year when Brooklyn asks!
http://www.simplymelsblog.com/ Simply Mel

I like the the ornament idea. I actually want to get the girls each an ornament every year with that years date on it so they can take them with them when they move out.
http://www.simplymelsblog.com/ Simply Mel

I like your explanation Laurie!!
http://www.simplymelsblog.com/ Simply Mel

Yeah, I think St. Nicholas is a great way to explain Santa whether you do “celebrate” him or not. Thanks!
http://www.simplymelsblog.com/ Simply Mel

I grew up with my parents putting the wrapped gifts under the tree as they bought them. My siblings and I actually really enjoyed looking for new presents every few days under the tree. We would sort all our gifts with our names on them and sit and hold them and wonder what they were! Mike grew up with an empty tree until Christmas morning (they did Santa) and we wait until Christmas eve to put all the gifts under the tree. I love seeing there faces as they come downstairs. However, as they kids get older we’ll probably just put the gifts under the tree as we wrap them )
http://www.simplymelsblog.com/ Simply Mel

LOL. That’s Joseph! He’s too smart!!