Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
2012: A Year Of Joy And Connecting
Monday, January 9th, 2012
Well, hello there! Happy new year!!! Thanks for sticking around and reading. I’m up early and blogging!! I won’t even go into a long apology about my lack of blogging lately. You guys have heard it all. Jocelyn has been sleeping through the night for two weeks now so hopefully we’ll see some good changes in my blog coming up. Actually, you will see some exciting changes in my blog coming up. More about that coming soon!
I hope you had a great Christmas and new year. We did!
We were abundantly blessed last year with a great Christmas budget. We were able to have a great Christmas with no debt and received some pretty sweet gifts from our our families as well.
We had a fun, family friendly New Year’s Eve party. Lots of fun, good people and lots of good food.
I’m 19 weeks pregnant! Yes, really!!! I find out January 20th if this fourth kid is going to be our first little prince or fourth little princess. I’ll have a pregnancy update once I can announce what we’re having.
So…2012. What will God have in store for us this year?? For starters a new baby! We also have an election this year. Hmm….wonder what that will bring?? I’m praying for God’s will to be done in all areas of our life. We should especially be praying for our country and for God’s hand to be on our election process. He cares about who’s running our government!I always get so emotionally involved in elections. So, you may not see me on Facebook much in the beginning of November until it’s over!!! And then, I may still need a couple of days after that. Ha!
I don’t really have any resolutions this year. I have some basic words that I want to look back on and hope described this year.
Simple. Organized. Joyful. Connected.
The third word was originally “fun” but I realized not all of 2012 is probably going to be “fun”. But, it can be joyful with the joy you can only find in the Lord. The first two words are pretty self explanatory. I think most people want their year to be simple and organized.
My fourth word is “connected”. This year I want to be more connected. Connected to God’s word, to prayer, to my family, to joy, to the present and to people.
I don’t want to go into a long explanation ( maybe in a new blog post. Maybe not) but I’ve struggled for some time to connect and have deep relationships with other women. It’s something I’ve prayed about for a long time. I crave a deep, close relationship with another woman or two. That “BFF ” relationship. I’m purposely praying for a real, deep connection with another woman friend this year.
I do have some Bible verses to share that I want to focus on this year. I can never find just one! These are the ones that embody what I’m praying for and that I’m going to be referring to a lot this year.
Let the saints ( Believers!!) be joyful in glory; Let them sing aloud on their beds. Let the highest praises of God be in their mouth, and a two-edged sword ( God’s Word!) in their hand. Psalm 149: 5-6 { Words in parentheses mine} (NKJV)
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. Galatians 6:9-10 (NKJV)
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20 (New Living Translation)
Did you make resolutions this year?
Welcome 2012!! Let the joy begin!
Unsubscribe:Facebook and Controversy
Thursday, October 27th, 2011
Unsubscribe. That little choice hidden to the right of your Facebook friends’ statuses. One where you have to hover to the right until you see an “x” and then get a few choices of what to do with this Facebook friend.
I have 419 “friends” on Facebook. Are they all really my close friends? Of course not! Can I keep up with all of them? No. There are the family and friends who I comment on and keep in touch with every day. Then there are those who I occasionally comment on. Then there are those who’ve I’ve only ever clicked “accept friend request” and then never heard from them again or them from me.
In the past few weeks I’ve tried to decide what I want to get out of Facebook. Why am I on Facebook? It certainly lends itself to a fake sense of acceptance and popularity. It’s easy to get on Facebook and feel like you have a lot of friends and people who care about you and to get lost in the Facebook world. But then you come back to reality and realize the only time you talk to 3/4 of your “friends” is on Facebook! You never actually see any of these people or develop a real personal relationship with them. Don’t get me wrong; I know that distance is what keeps many people from interpersonal relationships and that’s what makes Facebook such a great tool. I’ve actually been able to get to know some of my friends even better through Facebook. Women I probably would have never made a connection with otherwise. That’s pretty neat! And a great way to use Facebook.
I’m not bashing Facebook. I love it! I LOVE keeping in touch with my family and seeing pictures and finding out what’s going on in their every day lives. I love connecting with old friends from Brazil. I love being able to post pictures and statuses of my kids for everyone to see. I love following blogs I enjoy with great information for me. I’ve whittled away many a half hour throughout the day on Facebook. It can be a fun place. Or it can be a negative, frustrating and shallow place.
I’ve decided I want Facebook to be one of my “happy places”.
Getting back to the unsubscribe button. With 419 “friends” on Facebook, you know that there are tons of different types of people, beliefs and opinions floating around in my news feed. Do I honestly expect to agree with every single one of those 419 people on Facebook? Of course not!
Enter the unsubscribe button.
It brings peace and sanity to my Facebook world. Once you hit “unsubscribe” that person’s statuses no longer show up in your newsfeed. You are still Facebook friends with them, you just don’t see what they put in their status unless you specifically go to their Facebook page. I like this choice better than “un-friending”. Un-friending is very final and it takes a lot for me to un-friend someone!
In the past few years I’ve noticed that my level of irritation has gone up when reading Facebook statuses. It’s not only a place for sharing pictures and what’s for dinner. Now it’s a place to push agendas, politics, and opinions on religion, morality, lifestyles and even parenting! There for a while I wanted to get in there and throw my opinion around. But I’ve tired of that and no longer have the desire to enter the ring. There are days where I get completely outraged at statuses and comments left by my Facebook friends. I love my Facebook friends. I don’t want to feel this way when reading anyone’s statuses or comments!
I want it to be one of my happy places. Not the place I go to to roll my eyes, get angry, insulted, or have my conservative political, religious beliefs, lifestyle or parenting mocked or condescended.
So, I click “unsubscribe”.
If there’s a person who only posts political stuff I don’t agree with?
Click. Unsubscribe.
If all you do is share links that mock my faith?
Click. Unsubscribe.
Statuses that are full of boyfriend/girlfriend drama that is best kept in between yourself and your boyfriend?
Click. Unsubscribe.
Statuses that are full of foul language all the time?
Click. Unsubscribe.
I don’t want these kinds of things cluttering my news feed or my mind. I don’t need it! I don’t have time to go back and forth on Facebook debating politics, religion or why you’re parenting is better than mine.
I’ve decided to stop commenting on any of the things mentioned above if I see them and I also decided I won’t be sharing links to articles or blog posts that might be “inflammatory”. You might see me “like” different people, thoughts and beliefs here and there but I’m not looking to argue about why I “liked” it. To me, that’s not what Facebook is for. Yes, I have strong opinions about a lot of things. No, I will not be touting them on Facebook anymore. Some people enjoy fiery debates, controversy and pushing their opinions all over Facebook. It’s fun for them. And that’s great. I’m just not one of those people.
Everyone has the absolute right to post WHATEVER they want on Facebook. No question there. But I have the absolute right not to have to read it. Just as everyone has the right to not read what I write! The unsubscribe button is right there next to my posts.
I’m the person who does want to know what you’re reading or watching. How your kid is the most perfect, cutest thing ever. (Other than my kids of course. Haha) How your dog is sick and that your baby puked on you this morning. And, yes, even what you’re having for dinner. I want to hear your prayer requests and pray for you. I want to read how you had a fantastic day or how it kinda bummed you out.
I’d much rather read all of that than how you think anyone who supports the presidential candidate I’ve chosen must be selfish and ignorant. Or that you think my religious beliefs are narrow minded and that I’m a terrible mom for not breastfeeding for a year.
This verse sums up my thoughts on Facebook for myself:
Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.
Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message version of the Bible)
Unsubscribe. It’s a beautiful button that brings peace and harmony on Facebook.
How about you? Are you heavy handed with the unsubscribe button? All for fiery debates and opinions? Are you an “un-friender”? Don’t care either way?
I welcome your thoughts and comments on this subject. Please be kind and respectful.
And, as always, anyone is free to unsubscribe from me!
This post is also linked to Things I Love Thursday at The Diaper Diaries.
Facebook and Marriage. Thoughts?
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
I came across this interesting discussion via a link my sister messaged me.
This discussion comes from Courtney at Women Living Well. I admire Courtney and her sweet spirit and heart for the Lord. While I may not agree 100% with everything she writes I agree with 85% at least. I plan on becoming a regular reader.
She wrote this blog post a couple of days ago titled ” Facebook and Inappropriate Relationships”. She wrote about Facebook and how it’s starting to ruin marriages and what her and her husband are doing about it. Check it out and check out the comments. (It’s a hot topic so the comments range from over the top, to spot on to interesting, in my opinion). When you’re done you can read below my feelings on the subject. You know, if you’re so inclined. I know you’re dying to read what I think!
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So, maybe I’m naive but I have never considered that Facebook would break up marriages! I guess since I don’t know anyone personally who’s had that problem I have just never thought about it. After reading this blog post and the comments I can definitely see how that might happen.
I don’t feel led to delete my male friends but kudos to those who do. Call me weak but I could NEVER close my Facebook completely! I do feel like Facebook can be used for good. It all depends on what YOU do with it.
Here are some thoughts I have on this subject:
~I use Facebook to keep in touch with my family who live in Texas and other parts of the United States. My mom really enjoys seeing pictures of my girls that I post on Facebook. My grandparents are on Facebook, which I think is cool.
~My male friends include family members, church members, friends from highschool, coworkers of Mike’s and regular friends I’ve met along the way. I have never had one inappropriate comment from them nor have I seen an inappropriate status written by them. Since Mike was my first boyfriend I have no exes to be friends with. That might definitely be a little awkward. I might not friend an ex if I had one.
Do you friend your exes on Facebook? What are your thoughts on that subject?
~ Usually, I’m friends with the wife/ girlfriend/fiance of the male friend (if he’s married etc) as well.
~ I’ve made some wonderful connections through Facebook that I might never have had the chance to do because of busy schedules or distance. It’s actually been a really funny experience. I’ve gotten to know people better because of Facebook!
~ I agree with one of the comments that some of those women acted like their husbands and men in general are like wild animals who can’t control their lust and being tempted! Again, I’m not trying to down play real issues with that, because there certainly are. But I think those types of men are far less common than some of the women commenting made it out to be.
~ There have been way more instances of my women Facebook friends being inappropriate or obnoxious on Facebook than the male friends I have. I’ve never actually un-friended anyone, but I have hidden them from my news feed because I got tired of their crap.
~ Facebook is a tool that will turn out to be however you use it!
Those are my thoughts on that!
What are you thoughts on this subject? I found it so interesting!
2011 Goal- Forming New Relationships
Monday, January 10th, 2011
Even though I didn’t have much of a list in my previous New Year’s resolution post, Mike and I do have some things we want to work on this year as a couple and as a family. One of them this year is forming new relationships. The Bible has a lot to say on relationships and how important they are so this is an area that needs improving in our life.
In sharing what I’m about to share I don’t want anyone to feel guilty, offended or feel sorry for me/us.
I’ve lived in New England going on 14 years now and have yet to form a lasting, close friendship with another woman. I met and become friends with several different women over the years. We’ll be close for about a year or so and then, somehow, we drift off and go our separate ways. Some friendships were lost due to differences and some we just lost interest in keeping up the relationship. Distance has made some friendships hard, although I truly love these friends. Some of them are still “friends” but not ones I’m super close to or see very often. Some I would love to reconnect with, but sadly, it just doesn’t seem to be happening! As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t like people saying to me ” Let’s get together!” and “We should hang out sometime” when they don’t really mean it. It’s very annoying to not have any kind of follow through on the other person’s part when they say stuff like that to me. When I say that to someone I truly mean it. And usually follow through. I’ve found before that when I do try to follow through the person always has some reason for not being able to hang out. After a couple of failed attempts I figure they don’t truly want to hang out. And that’s fine!! Just don’t tell me you want to hang out in the first place. And by this, I mean, don’t bring up the subject yourself. I understand if I am the one to mention it and put the person who is really not interested in the awkward position to try to be nice. Then, the hemming and hawing is understandable.
And, yes, I’ve done a lot of soul searching and tried to figure out if it’s me that is the issue.
I have a lot of good “Facebook friends”! As much as I love Facebook, I think it does contribute to “shallow” friendships. They look good on Facebook but in real life aren’t sincere and have no depth. But, that’s ok too. Not every friendship in your life has to be super intimate and close. It’s ok to have fun people in the periphery of your life.
Mike and I haven’t had a close Couple Friend….ever? And when you’re trying to be friends as couples I know it’s harder because it brings a totally different dynamic into play. The wives get a long but the husbands aren’t really into each other. The husbands have a great time together but the wives can’t stand each other. It’s tough! But definitely doable.
I have found that as a “southerner” it’s hard to form relationships here in New England. There’s seems to be a cultural (?) gap there. And I’ve found that many or most of the people here have grown up in the same town,continued to live in the same area all of their lives, have all of their families close by and already have close friends they’ve had for years. They’re not necessarily looking for any new relationships. And I don’t hold that against them. I’m actually jealous of that. I think it would be awesome to have a close bond and real friendship with another woman or women for years. That’s got to be a huge blessing.
I’ve always been the type of person who craves intimate relationships with other women. And maybe that comes off as desperation?? I know that’s not an attractive quality to most people. What’s funny is that I don’t consider myself a huge “people person”. I do enjoy my alone time and I’m not super spontaneous. But that doesn’t mean I like to be alone all the time either!! I do love to host parties, have people over and go to dinner with other women and couples.
I’ve heard the theory that maybe this “longing” stems from being a twin who lost her twin at birth. Maybe part of me is always looking for that “twin” in my relationships.
Mike has recently gone through some changes in his friendships and I truly feel for him. He’s also the type of guy who’s super friendly and loves to “hang with the guys”. Except, there are no “guys” at the moment! And we both know it’s hard with long work hours and trying to be with the family on the weekends.
So, I say all of that to say this- Mike and I would like to really focus on strengthening and forming new relationships this year. We’ve always thought of ourselves as friendly people but maybe we need to put ourselves out there more? We’re in a new church and met many new people last year. There’s lots of opportunities for new friendships. I don’t want to go another few years without having formed close bonds with someone. We’ve been praying over this area of our lives and know that God will move and bless in His time. We know we’re not perfect so we’re working on our attitudes as well.
I’m also clearing out my “friendship closet” , so to speak. There are people in my life who truly bring me down and aren’t “real” friends. I’m not going to waste my time and energy being annoyed with them or trying to wonder what they’re true intentions are anymore. Sometimes, you really do have to say “goodbye” to relationships because they are no longer sincere or healthy.
What is your “friendship closet” like? Are you blessed with many wonderful, close friends? Is your closet empty? Do you need to clean yours out?
Like I said before, I don’t want pity and I’m not writing this to offend anyone. This is a real issue in my life and I really do want to make it better!
Here’s to closer friendships in 2011!!
