Archive for the ‘Humor/Funny Stories’ Category
The Secret To Good Makeup….
Wednesday, June 9th, 2010
“The secret to good makeup is not over doing it” says Madelyn to herself while applying her “makeup” the other day.
Those wise words were apparently spoken by Ruby of “Max and Ruby” fame.
Truer words (in regards to makeup) have never been spoken.
“I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.” ~Bob Hope
“I will not retire while I’ve still got my legs and my make-up box.” ~Bette Davis
“Use a make-up table with everything close at hand and don’t rush; otherwise you’ll look like a patchwork quilt.” ~Lucille Ball
“The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.” ~Albert Einstein
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
This post is linked up to Wordful Wednesday over at Seven Clown Circus.
*Quotes taken from BrainyQuotes.com
Wherein Katelyn gets the “Rachel”
Sunday, April 25th, 2010
My girls decided to cut their own hair last week. Don’t ask me why because I thought we were past that stage. Thankfully the damage isn’t too bad.
Okay, first of all, this girl needs to stop growing. She looks fourteen in this picture. See the shorter hair that is framing her face? Yep, that’s what she added herself. It was all one length before. She apparently was going for a “Rachel” hair cut.
Here she decides to start having fun with the fact that I’m taking pictures of her misbehavior. But, if I didn’t do that what kind of mommy blogger would I be?
Think she’s sorry???
Don’t answer that!
Here’s some shots of Madelyn’s hair. Who couldn’t be bothered with us while watching t.v. Or, she may have been sitting on her little potty at the time and didn’t like the fact that I was taking her picture.
But…whatever, right?
She seemed to only have chopped a little chunk of her hair. Her hair has various layers in it since it’s still growing out so this chunk blends in a little better than Katelyn’s layers do.
You can see the chopped layer where it ends right beneath her ear.
Do you think they have futures as hair stylists?
I wanted to share with you some of the funny stuff the girls have been saying recently.
Madelyn insists on being called “Diego”. If you call her “Madelyn” she will calmly say ” My name is Diego.” If Katelyn refuses to call her that she’ll burst into tears and go into hysterics over it.
The other thing Madelyn is going around doing these days is stopping and shouting at me (or whoever else is near by) “ You’re out of the herd!!!
She gets this line from ” Ice Age” which both of the girls adore. She’ll only say it on her terms though. If we stand on our head, bribe and beg her to yell ” You’re out of the herd!!” she refuses to say it.
Madelyn, who is usually my quiet and shy child, found herself quite fascinated by another little girl at dance class the other day. The little girl was playing a hand held video game and her bangs kept falling in to her eyes. Madelyn kept reaching over and wiping her bangs out of her eyes. The little girl just ignored her and kept playing her game. Finally Madelyn looked at me and said ” Does she talk?”
Katelyn has been obsessed with death here lately. She keeps asking me when she’s going to die. Then she’ll say she doesn’t want to die and that she just wants Jesus to take her to Heaven. I’m seriously running out of ideas to get her mind off the subject. I keep telling her she doesn’t have to worry about that right now because it’s not going to happen any time soon. But she’s the type that wants answers now.
Katelyn walked around the grocery store with four fingers in the air the other day. When I asked her what she was doing she said she wanted everyone to know how old she was.
She seriously embarrassed me with a comment at church a few weeks ago. We had been ooohhing and aahing over this tiny newborn girl. She was super dainty and adorable. We then walked over to talk to another acquaintance that has a baby boy who’s about six months old. He’s big and chubby and super cute. As we were walking away she said very loudly ” Mama, I want a cute baby. Not like that one”. I wanted the floor to swallow me up. I don’t know if the mom heard her or not because I just kept walking. I know what Katelyn was trying to say and it wasn’t that she didn’t think the little boy was cute. What she meant was that she wants a newborn, tiny baby. She doesn’t want a big, older baby. I also explained to her that she can’t say things like that because it will hurt people’s feelings.I don’t know if she gets that yet.
I’m still walking around on a pregnancy high. I think it’s too early for me to really start feeling any pregnancy symptoms. I have been very tired but that’s it. I didn’t have morning sickness with either of my two girls so I have my fingers crossed that I won’t get it this time around either. I’m planning to post all about the day I found out I was pregnant.
For now I need to go to bed!
Google Searches That Make Me Laugh
Wednesday, April 21st, 2010
I know as of the past several weeks I haven’t been posting many family updates or pictures. And I do feel as if my content has been a little lame! I do have some more interesting posts in the works so please don’t leave me!
Anyhoo, as you may remember I enjoy writing some of the weird search terms that have led people to my blog. Sometimes they’re scary, sometimes they’re funny and sometimes they’re…”who searches for stuff like that??!!”
Here are my favorites for the past several weeks:
*Children’s shows I can’t remember*
I don’t think Google will be much help there!
*How many cry during the Star Spangled Banner*
Me!! I’m one. I know exactly how they landed here on that one. I mentioned in a Top Ten post that our national anthem chokes me up every time.
*MckMama Drama/Anti MckMama blogs/MckMama hate/MckMama hate blogs*
I still get many of those hits on my blog because I mentioned MckMama before. My cousin told me that she did that search and my blog was one of the top ones that came up! I like MckMama and you won’t find any MckMama bashing here! For the record. Great, now my blog will still come up in those searches since I mentioned all of those terms here again.
*Good reads blog button*
I hope my blog qualifies as a good read AND I have a blog button too! They came to the right place.
*Why does my best friend make me cry?*
Ok, I thought this one was funny. Maybe they should ask they’re best friend? Just a thought.
*Family prayer on giving to others*
Awww, this is a nice one.
*Top 10 boys favorites*
*Top 10 things kids hate to do*
Clean up. Go to bed. Share. Eat veggies. Go to the doctor. There’s five.
* Cry without teas song*
Ummm.. did they mean “cry without tears song?” Never heard of it!
*Layla Grace suffered so much*
This one made me sad. Obviously someone was searching for blogs mentioning Layla Grace and how much she suffered in her short life.
*Flooding her boots*
Haha! I would love to find out why this person was using this particular search term. If your boots are flooded take them off! Duh!
And my favorite this time around:
*Mel smells of poo*
Who and why are you searching for that? Did someone actually write a blog post about a Mel smelling like poo?
What are some funny Google searches that have landed people on your blog? I’d love to hear them!
Oh, and I’m having a hard time coming up with a clever title to these Google search posts. If you can think of one and I’d like to share it with me please do!
If You Give A Girl Some Lip gloss…
Sunday, February 28th, 2010
If you give a two year old girl some lip gloss she’ll probably want to smear it all over her face…
and smearing it all over her face will remind her that she has a big sister who would also likes to smear apply lip gloss. So she’ll probably ask for lip gloss for her big sister…
And once big sister applies lip gloss to her face it will remind her that she needs practice applying it to other people’s faces…
so she’ll ask daddy to be her model.
And once daddy agrees to be her model, mommy will thank God for having such a wonderful husband and father of her children…
……and remember that she has a blog where she loves to post about her husband and lip gloss loving girls
….. and then she’ll remember she has a camera and that this is a blog worthy moment
…And take pictures. Lots pictures.
……And post it on her blog. And when her little girls see the pictures on her blog, it will remind them that they love make-up.
So they’ll probably ask mommy for some lip gloss.
**100 Simply Mel points if you recognize the children’s book that this post is {trying to} reference
Meet Herbie
Friday, February 12th, 2010
If you glanced in my van the other day you would see this:
Can’t see it? How about a closer view….
See it? Here, let me roll down my window for an even better view…
Meet Herbie. This is the deer (buck??) Mike shot many moons ago and that now usually hangs in our dining room. A couple of weeks ago (when we had moving plans) we decided that Herbie should have a temporary home at my inlaws’ house to make our dining room more stream lined. So I loaded Herbie in our front seat and drove Katelyn to school.
Now, remember this…
…..is what others could see. The parents dropping their sweet children off at school didn’t have the advantage of seeing this….
….like you and I do. Oh, and neither did the children for that matter. So, I get out of the car with Katelyn and Madelyn and one of the moms comes up to me and asks ” Is that a real deer??” and I replied “Well, yes”. Thinking ” it’s not a fake deer. It used to be real once”. And the mom looked amazed and said “Wow!”. And it suddenly dawned on me to answer the question a little more clearly so I said ” Well, it used to be real. My husband shot it and had it stuffed and it now hangs in our dining room”. And the mom said ” Ooooh. Ok.” and to her daughter said ” It’s like what uncle so and so has in his house. It’s dead.”
Did she really think I had a live DEER in my front seat?? One that was just hanging out in my front seat not thrashing around and kicking me to death while I was driving? Really? This was a total here’s-your-sign moment in my opinion. But then I remembered that I’ve had many of those moments where I’ve asked a really dumb and really obvious question. So I just laughed it off and thought “What great blog fodder!”
Herbie is still at my inlaws’ house. I guess we should get him back at some point since he can now resume his place in our dining room. It should be fun driving him back.
In my front seat!
Wordless Wednesday
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
This photo is just begging for a caption isn’t it?
I found Mr. Ken Doll hanging out like this in the playroom the other day. Barbie was nowhere in sight.
Hmm…..
What do YOU think he’s doing? Make this Wordless Wednesday not so wordless!!!
Well, I guess the “wordless” part is already shot to you-know-where…
Anyway…
Not Me! Monday
Monday, December 7th, 2009
Wow. It’s been, like, forever since I’ve done one of these! If you’ve been in mommy blogging world for any length of time then you’ve heard about MckMama’s “Not Me! Monday”.
Since I haven’t participated in NMM in a while my list of ” not me’s” are from the past couple of months.
*In the past two months I have NOT managed to fall down the stairs in my home twice and get banged up pretty bad. And would you believe, that both of those times I didn’t fall down the stairs ( Because, if you know me, that is so…*cough*… NOT something I do. A lot.) I didn’t just happen to be holding/ walking with Madelyn? Yup, Madelyn did NOT just happen to fall down the stairs with me both times. It’s a good thing she didn’t get banged up herself. ( No really, she reeeaaally, didn’t get banged up at all!)
In the past couple of months I have NOT had to say one of the following:
“Is that pee or juice on the floor???!!!”
“Katelyn give Madelyn her imaginary camera back!!!”
“No, you cannot walk around naked all day”
” I’m sorry sweetie, but we just can’t go to the hospital and get a new baby. They aren’t handing them out. And, no, if I go to the hospital God is not just going to put a baby in my belly so they can take it out while I”m there.”
“Yes, you absolutely have to wear clothes on your bottom while sitting on the couch”
“Yes, Katelyn, since Jesus won’t personally be at his birthday party this Christmas we can eat his cake for him. Don’t you worry!”
Katelyn did NOT yell out in Taco Bell to her papa ” Papa, do you know what these things on your chest are called? NIPPLES!!!!”
Said above daughter did NOT also announce in a public bathroom while trying to “go”- ” Mom, my poop won’t wake up! It needs to wake up”
I did NOT walk in on a woman using tghe restroom in a one toilet bathroom in a restaurant. Then we did NOT proceed to have a discussion at length, once she came out, about how the lock on the door didn’t work and if I hadn’t pushed the door so hard it wouldn’t have opened and blah blah blah only to find out she just didn’t lock to the door appropriately. But, of course, that didn’t happen.
I did NOT take many opportunities to snap pictures of my potty training toddler because I think she looks so cute.
NOT this one….
Or this one….
And certainly NOT these…. ( a girls gotta stay warm while doing her business on those cold mornings, right?)
And what kind of mom would make it a family photo opp? Certainly NOT me!!
And you? What have you NOT done recently that you’d like to share? Join MckMama’s “Not Me! Monday” meme and check out some other funny stories!
* I wanted to give a few more details about my falls! The first time I fell I was holding Maddy’s hand. The carpet on one of the steps was loose and I stepped on it just right, lost my footing and fell headlong down the stairs. As I had been holding Madelyn’s hand I pulled her a long with me. I banged up my knees really bad and had to long scrapes on my shins that bled pretty badly. I also hurt my elbow and scraped up my arms. Thankfully Madelyn came away from that with a few scratches on her forehead! She came rolling after me and after I landed at the bottom it took her a few minutes to land on top of me. The second time I fell it was going to the basement and I was actually carrying Maddy this time. I didn’t even make it past the first step. I tripped over my own foot and fell headlong (yep, AGAIN!) down the first flight of (6 ) steps into the door at the bottom of those steps. I twisted around on my down because I didn’t want to land on top of Madelyn so I landed on my back and slammed my head pretty hard on the door.(I literally saw stars!) Maddy landed sort of on top of me but also on her side. I was in a crumpled heap with my head still resting on the door and my legs propped up on the bottom of the steps. We both lay there crying. I was crying more from anger than anything. I couldn’t believe I had done that AGAIN!!! Thankfully, after looking and feeling Madelyn over she had no bumps or bruises. I, on the other hand, had some huge bumps on the back of my head and I think I sprained by big toe on my left foot and the muscles on the top of my foot. Mike came running and yelling ” Hun? HUUUN??” Both Mike and Katelyn stood at the top stairs staring at us in concern as we lay at the bottom of the stairs. Katelyn said very gravely and seriously to Mike ” Daddy ,you bring up Madelyn. I’ll get Mama!”
I Don’t Know What To Think About This
Friday, October 23rd, 2009
“Mama, who am I going to marry?” asked Katelyn the other day.
“Sweetie, I don’t know. God will give you someone to marry when you get older.”
” Can I marry daddy?”
“No, you can’t marry daddy. I’m married to daddy”
“But when you’re done with daddy can I marry him?”
” Uh.No”
“How about Papa. Can I marry him?”
“Nope. Papa is married to Nana. And… He’s your Papa”
“Can Garrett (her cousin) marry me?”
“Sweetie, no, you have to marry someone who isn’t in your family”
“Ok, how about Eddie?” (He’s a boy in her class and also the son/grandson of longtime friends of ours and Mike’s family”
“Well…. that’s a possibility I guess!”
(These were taken a couple of weeks ago after school had let out. They had both sit (sat?) down to chat and we snapped a few quick photos)
Will we be showing these pictures at her wedding in the future I wonder?
So weird to even ponder…
Multitasking Post
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
If this isn’t great multitasking I don’t know what is….
Push potty over to coloring book and get crayons-CHECK
Get comfortable and start coloring while trying to potty-CHECK
Check to see if something is coming out and being happy to discover something is indeed coming out-CHECK
I just thought this little moment was too cute to pass up.
Speaking of cute and multitasking can you pretty please go over to Jenn(aka Future Mama) at Baby Makin(g) Machine’s blog and vote for Katelyn and Madelyn in her Cute Baby/Kid/Pet contest? Madelyn is #9 in the Cute Baby section and Katelyn is #11 in the Cute Kid contest.I will win some cute prizes and a button for my blog to proudly display the fact that my girl(s) won the Cute Baby/Kid/Pet contest. So please vote me us! And I think you can even vote every day. If you want.
Jenn is holding this contest for a great cause! She’s holding a raffle to benefit the March Of Dimes foundation. She has a ton of great sponsors donating wonderful items for the raffle. Depending on how much you donate towards the March Of Dimes you’ll get X amount of ticket to enter the raffle and win those awesome prizes. Check her out.
So There I Was…
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
So there I was, a couple of Sundays ago, playing the piano and helping lead worship at church. I had accidentally slept in my contacts the night before. I usually don’t do this but, for some reason, that Saturday night I went to bed with them in. I discovered at 4:00 am, as I was fumbling on my nightstand for my glasses so I could go to the bathroom ,that I could actually see the numbers on my alarm clock. But..I digress.
So, there I was playing the piano, very dry eyed, with my glasses on that Sunday. It was the Sunday after our worship leader came back from taking a week off because of her young nephew’s tragic death. When it came to the time where Pat reads a scripture she had decided to read a journal entry from her nephew’s little prayer journal dated a few days before he died. It was a beautiful and eerie post that almost felt like he knew what was coming. Pat got a little emotional reading this and I could feel my eyes welling with tears. But I was ok. I didn’t start any uncontrollable crying which I am prone to do during song time. You would think that a little tear moisture for my very dry eyes would have been a good thing. It wasn’t. My eyes started burning. Like they were. On.Fire. As we tried to sing our special number for the offertory my eyes started pouring tears and my nose started gushing. I could barely keep my eyes open. I was blinking like mad and trying to look out one eye and then the other. As long as I could keep one eye open I could see my music and play. With all the blinking and squinting I thought for sure everyone was going to think I was having some sort of seizure. I was hoping since I had worn my glasses they were covering my face a bit and no one would notice the water works coming from my eyes and nose.
Do you know how hard it is to play and sing when you can barely see your music through blurry, burning eyes and you have snot running into your mouth? I wish I didn’t.
And the only thing I was thinking was ” I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW I’M NOT REALLY CRYING!! I’M NOT CRYING BECAUSE YET ANOTHER SONG HAS MADE ME TOO EMOTIONAL TO SING! OH NO,NOT THIS TIME. MY EYES ARE JUST ON FIRE. THAT’S ALL!!”
So no one other than my friend, Jen, ended up saying anything or acted like they noticed. She said she saw that I was having a little “issue” and she was trying to figure out if I was just getting emotional or if something else was wrong.
“Ha!” I said. ” I wasn’t really crying.….”
And you know the rest of the story.
