Archive for June, 2010
10 Areas To Pray Over Your Husband
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
I started reading “The Power Of A Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian for the second time this summer. I love this book. I know I need to read it at least once a year to keep reminding me of what I need to pray over my husband about. Stormie points out that a mother’s prayers for her son are important but his wife’s prayers are even more important! She reminds us in her book that praying for our husbands isn’t about what we want to see changed in them but about what God wants to do and see in their lives. And if there are things that really do need to be changed in our husband’s lives that God is the only one who can do it and not us. It’s not until I read this book last year that I realized I was not praying enough for Mike. There are so many areas of his life that I could be praying over and I wasn’t! Part of learning to pray for our husbands is also learning to pray for ourselves and how to be better partners.
Stormie details 30 areas (yes, thirty!!! Who knew?? ) of our husbands lives that we should be praying about. And they are all important. Depending on your marriage some areas may need more prayer than others. I have picked the top ten that I find the most important for Top Ten Tuesday.
1. His work.
My husband works hard and long hours. He’s Engineering Manager for a biotech company. It’s a stressful job. He’s responsible for a lot of deadlines and budgets. His work drains him mentally and physically sometimes. He is one of those guys who takes his work seriously and gives %110. Many times I feel like his employers take advantage of him because he is such a hard, honest employee and willing to go above and beyond his job description most of the time. I pray that God will give him wisdom, peace and energy throughout the day. And that his employers will appreciate his work and compensate him accordingly.
2. His Purpose.
Similar to praying for his work, if my husband does not feel fulfilled in his life’s work he will not be happy. So I pray that God will show Mike his purpose in life. Mike has a huge heart for ministry and is talented in teaching and descipleship as well so if he is not involved in church ministry in some way he doesn’t feel like he’s truly doing all he should be doing for the Lord. Stormie writes:
” You can always tell when a man is not living in the purpose for which God has created him. You sense his unrest. You get a feeling something is not quite right, even if you can’t put your finger on it.”
“…a wife can’t put pressure on her husband to be something but she can pray for him to become it.”
” Whatever God has called your husband to be or do, He has also called you o support it and be a part of it, if in no other way that to pray, encourage, and help in whatever way possible.”
I don’t want to be a hindrance to God’s purpose for Mike. I want to be an encourager and a blessing.
3. His Health.
Because Mike is in a high stress, long hours job he doesn’t have a lot of time to take good care of himself. I have worried about how stress and poor eating can affect his health negatively. He doesn’t exercise consistently ( pot calling the kettle black on my part???) and wasn’t eating healthfully most days. He’s a BIG guy. 6′7 and 370 pounds. BIG. He (we) have struggled with our weight since we’ve been married. He’s a uber picky eater by nature and vegetables and fruit I(or any healthy food for that matter) have not really been on his menu for most of his adult life. I can attest to the power of prayer by the fact that in the past year Mike’s tastes for healthy food have changed considerably! I started making Mike’s lunches so that has forced him to eat healthier. He has started taking salad’s to work ( something his family NEVER thought would happen!) and he started eating an apple at breakfast every morning.
Stormie writes:
“Your husband’s health is not something to take for granted, no matter what his age or condition. Pray for him to learn to take proper care of himself, and if he becomes ill, pray for him to be healed.”
“It seems to me that God is interested in healing, and he didn’t put a time limit on it; only a faith limit. ( Matthew 9:22)”
My prayer for Mike is that he would learn to take better care of himself and also to listen to the signals his body is giving him to take it easy or to go to the doctor when needed. (You know how “tough” men can be!!)
4. His Protection.
As I mentioned above, Mike’s job keeps him working long hours. He works an hour away. He has to commute to and from work in horrible weather during the winter. He also has to commute when tired and sleepy. Many a times he has nodded off while driving and that scares me to death! I’ve prayed often for Mike’s safety while driving to and from work. Your husband may be in a line of work (construction, military, police officer, firefighter etc) that puts him in harms way. Praying for the Lord to put his hedge of protection around him is something you need to do daily.
Stormie writes:
” Our husbands are on the battlefield every day. There are dangers everywhere. Only God knows what traps the enemy has laid to bring accidents, disease, evil, violence and destruction into our lives….. That’s why prayer for your husband’s protection needs to be frequent and ongoing. You never know when it might be needed in the battlefield. And if something happens, you’ll have the comfort of knowing you’ve invited God’s presence and power into the middle of it.”
Not only do we need to pray for physical protection but also for mental and spiritual as well.
5. His Trials.
Stormie says it best:
“Everyone goes through hard times. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes our prayers help us avoid them. Sometimes not……A wife’s prayers for her husband during these times may not change some of the things he must go through. After all, if we never suffered anything, what kind of shallow, compassionless, impatient people would we be? But prayer can help him maintain a positive outlook of gratitude, hope, patience, and peace in the midst of it, and keep him from reaping the penalty of a wrong response.” (italics mine)
6. His Integrity.
I’m not bragging when I say that Mike is a man of Integrity. It’s just a fact! He is one of the most noble, honest people I know. When I pray for his integrity I don’t pray for him to have it, I pray for him to keep it.
Stormie writes:
“Integrity is not what you appear {italics hers} to be when all eyes are on you. It’s who you are when no one is looking. It’s a level of morality below which you never fall, no matter what’s happening around you. It’s a high standard of honesty, truthfulness, decency and honor that is never breached. {italics mine}It’s doing for others the way you would want them to do for you.”
” A man of integrity says something and means it.”
” A man of integrity “swears to his own hurt and does not change” (Psalm 15.4) He will keep his word even if it costs him something to do so.”
” Your prayers can help shield him from anything that causes him doubt and waver, and gie him strength to do what’s right- even when no one’s looking”.
In a world where it’s so easy to take the easy way out, let’s pray for our husbands to be men of noble character.
7. His Relationships.
Does your husband have a wonderful, steadfast, godly friend? Mike has had some that have come and gone in his seasons of life. Good friends are truly hard to find unless the Lord is in the search. My prayer right now is that he will find a wonderful, loyal and godly friend for this season of his life. We all know how much our husband’s friends can influence them. We need to pray for godly couples to come into our lives and be a wonderful source of encouragement and friendship to both of us.
Stormie writes:
“Being good friends with godly people who love the Lord, doesn’t just happen by chance. We must pray that such people will come into our lives. And then when we find them, we should continue to cover the relationship in prayer.”
” Pray also for your husband to have godly male friends. And when he finds them, give time to be with them without criticism. Those friends will refine him. “ As iron sharpens iron,s o a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17)”
I also pray that Mike will continue to have a good relationship with my family and his.
8. His Fatherhood.
Mike is a great father and great provider. One of my duties as a wife is to pray continually that God will give us both wisdom to parent our daughters. But we all know that fathers play a huge role in our children’s lives. A role that sometimes is underrated and underestimated. A father’s relationship to his children is unique and special. I pray that Mike will continue to have a close relationship with our children throughout his life.
Stormie writes:
Men don’t always realize how important they are to their children. They sometimes fell they are only there to provide materially for them. But the importance of a father’s influence can never be underestimated. How he relates to his children will shape their lives for bad or for good. It will change his life forever ,too. For if he fails as a father, he will always carry that sense of failure with him. If he succeeds, there will be no greater measure of his success in life.”
9. His Marriage.
We must pray for our husband’s marriage… to us! I think our marriage is something that many women automatically pray for since it’s something so close to our hearts. Or maybe your marriage is so great you don’t feel the need to. Cover your marriage in prayer. It’s the best thing you can for both of you!
Stormie writes:
“Praying about all aspects of marriage keeps the concept of divorce from gaining any hold. So we mustn’t neglect the major issues, even if we think they don’t apply to us.” {italics mine}
” Pray that your marriage is a place where two agree so God will be in the midst of it (Matthew 18:19,20)”
” Don’t take your marriage for granted, no matter how great it is……Pray for your marriage to be protected from any person or situation that could destroy it……Pray that God will make your marriage a source of joy, and life to both of you, and not a drudgery, a thorn, a dread, an irritation, or a temporary condition.”
10. His Obedience.
The Lord speaks to us as a couple and also individually as a husband and as a wife.We each have our struggles and issues we are working on, with the Lord’s help. We do our best to keep each other accountable. Sometimes the Lord gives extra insight about a path the other is headed down.
Stormie writes:
If you clearly observe your husband walking down a wrong path, should you say something? If so, how much should you say and when is the right time to say it? The best way I’ve found to proceed is to take it to God first and weigh it on His scales……You can encourage him to do what’s right and pray for him to do what’s right, but ultimately it’s God’s voice that will have the greater impact.”
” A man who does what God asks, builds his house on a rock. When the rain, floods, and wind come and beat on the house, it won’t fall (Matthew 7:24-27). You don’t want to witness the downfall of your house because of your husband’s disobedience in any area. While it’s not your place to be either his mother or the gestapo, it is your job to pray, and speak after you’ve gotten your orders from God.”
I highly recommend reading this book if you haven’t. Not only have I learned to pray for my husband but I’ve learned more about myself and how important MY prayers are. It touches so many different areas of prayer there’s no way your husband could NOT be covered in God’s protection and blessings when you pray over these things.
For a not- as- dragged- out Top Ten Tuesday head over to Oh Amanda!
Purposeful Parenting
Monday, June 28th, 2010
Before you think that I’m writing a post on how to be a good parent let me assure you that this is NOT that post. This is a post about how imperfect my parenting is.
Are you purposeful in your parenting?
I’ve come to find out that I’m really not! As both my girls get older I’m finding that I can’t just “wing it” anymore. I can’t just send them on their way with a few answers and a snack. They were happy playing with their play-doh, coloring and watching t.v. There for a while they were too young to notice much and easily distracted with pat answers.I could tell them to “do as I say” and hope they didn’t “do as I do”.
I used to spend a good amount of time working on letters and numbers with Katelyn. She knew a lot more at almost three years old than Madelyn does at almost three. Madelyn is my laid back, easily pleased and content child. She will play with literally anything. Rocks, her fingers, bird feathers…..anything. She hardly ever asks for anything so when she does I’m happy to oblige her. She is happiest playing by herself, in her own little world. So, I think “Why disturb her to work on letters, crafts, spelling her name or numbers??” Madelyn is my “easy” child. So easy, in fact, that I can easily be unpurposeful in my parenting with her!
Katelyn constantly needs attention.
Ahhh…Katelyn. My precocious, impatient, stubborn, silly, inquisitive, strong-willed, beautiful almost-five-year-old. Let’s just say she’s my “challenging” child. I don’t know how it happened but we seem to have raised a 4 year old little demanding Diva. I’ve found myself butting heads A LOT with her and also getting very frustrated. I find myself constantly saying “no” to her and getting on to her. I want to say “yes” but her behavior here lately is pushing me to say ” no” all the time. She is really pushing the boundaries of the knowledge I thought I had on parenting. Some days she completely wears me down mentally, emotionally and physically. I’ve found those days to be a complete parenting FAIL. I’ve yelled too much. I’ve not been consistent enough. I’ve taken the easy way out. I’ve been short and irritable with her. I have been a terrible example.
I swear she is hitting puberty already. Her mood swings are unbelievable! She is CONSTANTLY wanting, asking, wishing for or demanding something she can’t have at the moment. Or ever, for that matter. “No” ,”wait” , “later” and”not now” are not acceptable answers in her mind. She pushes,begs and argues with me to my pulling-my-hair-out screaming limit. We’ve really had to put our foot down and discipline her EVERY time she asks for something more than once. Whether we say “yes” or “no”. That’s one thing that drives Mike nuts as well. She repeats herself and argues all the time. (Maybe she’ll be a lawyer???)
Here’s an example of a typical conversation that goes on 50 times a day.
Katelyn: Mom, can I have juice? (have ice cream, have cookies, can you buy me a toy on t.v, have snack right after lunch, have a sleep over, go to McDonald’s, go to Nana and Papa’s etc etc)
Me: Wait a minute. Let me finish (insert task)
Katelyn: (2 minutes later) Can I have juice? Mama CAN I HAVE JUICE??
Me: When. I’m. done. here.
Katelyn: (another 2 minutes later) Can I have juice now? Mom, can I HAVE some JUICE?
Me: I SAID when I’m done! I will let you know when I’m done.
Katelyn: But, mom! I want juice RIGHT NOW.
Me: What have I already said????????!!!
Katelyn: (pouting) When you’re done…..
Me: Exactly. Go play.
Katelyn: ( 2 minutes later) Mooom, can I have juice now? Are you done now? You’re taking too looong!
Me: I SAID WAIT!!!!! WALK AWAY!
Katelyn: But mom…!!
Me: That’s it! No juice for you. You can have some water when I’m DONE HERE but no juice. I told you that I would GET YOUR JUICE AS SOON AS I WAS DONE HERE BUT YOU KEEP INTERRUPTING ME and you’re not listening. You need to learn to WAIT!!! Go sit on the couch!
Katelyn: (Burst into tears) Mooom!!! That’s not fair. Waaahhhh
(Commence me feeling extremely bad and guilty)
These types of conversations go on all day long. Sometimes they are reasonable requests that just require her to wait a minute. Sometimes they are outrageous requests that she doesn’t understand why she can’t do or have. And usually when I do give her something it’s never what she actually wants. She always wants something different that what she’s getting. She’s never happy the first time around. S the is in an extremely ungrateful stage right now.
I get so frustrated and think ” Oh my word! Why can’t this child just be happy with what I gave her? Why doesn’t she just give up??”
Then it hits me. That’s how I am with God. Constantly asking for stuff. Constantly being ungrateful for what he’s given me. Some days I think that the reason God isn’t giving me another child is that I’m not doing very good with the two that I have!
The Bible says to “train up a child in the way he should go” and that children are ” a gift” from the Lord. I have to start taking this parenting thing more seriously! I can’t parent each day absentmindedly, correcting and punishing haphazardly. I have to remember that these children don’t just know the correct behavior that is expected of them. I have to model and teach it to them. I can’t get angry and frustrated with their behavior if I haven’t taught and modeled the correct ones! If I’m short, irritable and impatient they will learn to be short, irritable and impatient. If I model discontentment they will learn discontentment.
I do need to take some extra time with Madelyn to teach her some basic, pre-school concepts. I need to make sure they are learning Scripture consistently at home. That I’m teaching them Biblical principles myself. Not just depending on Sunday School to teach them what they need to know about the Lord. The Lord has gifted me with these children and I HAVE to start being a better example and truly “training” them in the values, principles and behaviors I want them to have as adults. God has entrusted Mike and me with their minds and hearts and we need to to be more purposeful about how we guide them. We only have a short period of time to lay these important foundations.
I think part of the problem is that I have been angry and discontent for a long time myself. As many of you know part of my problem is that I don’t want to be here in New England. I want to be in Texas. I don’t like New England. Plain and simple! That has been a source of discontentment with me. The other one is my desire and struggle to have another child. There are several other issues I’m working on but those are for my journal. I haven’t liked myself very much for a long while. And I’m not saying I have poor self esteem or hate my looks. What I haven’t liked is my attitude!! I haven’t liked who I’ve become as a person. I feel as if I haven’t been truly living. I’ve been stuck in the if-onlys. I’ve had unrealistic expectation from people in my life. I haven’t accepted the way things are. I want to start living. Accepting how God wants my life right now. I want to start parenting purposefully and focusing on the children I have now.
God and I are having some words but God is truly working on and in me. I’m blessed right now and in the present.
And if you’ve read this far I thank you!! Thank you for letting me share what God is doing in my life right now.
{WFMW} Homemade Smoothie Pops
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
I’ve recently got this idea from one of the parenting magazines I subscribe too (can’t remember which one!) and I loved it. Homemade smoothie pops. They’re healthier and cheaper than regular, store bought popsicles. They taste delicious. And they’re so easy!
I’ll show you how I did it but you can always tweak it to suit your tastes.
1. Start out by making your favorite smoothie.
I make mine with strawberry or vanilla yogurt because that’s usually what I have on hand. I add frozen strawberries and blueberries, a little milk to thin it out and some honey or Stevia.
2. Pour smoothie into small, plastic cups. Cover with plastic wrap.
These were 4 oz cups which actually came out too big. I bought 2 oz cups for the next batch I’m making. You can also obviously use Popsicle moulds if you have them.
3. Insert popsicle sticks.( I inserted plastic knife handles instead of popsicle sticks because I didn’t have any popsicle sticks!)
4. Freeze for at least 6-8 hours.
*Sidenote- Don’t tell your kids you’re making them because they will ask every half hour if they’re ready yet. Or is that just my kids?
5. Tear (or pop) the popsicles out of the cups/moulds.
6. Enjoy!!
What kind of smoothie would you make for these? How would you tweak it?
These homemade, healthy treats work for me!
This post is linked to Works For Me Wednesday over at We are THAT Family.
Journaling 101
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
I love journaling. I’ve been journaling since I was thirteen years old. There have been a year here or there that I stopped for a time. But I’ve always picked back up. I have a storage tote filled with all my old journals. I love going back to read them from time to time. Sometimes I laugh. (I was very dramatic with my writing in high school. ” I just know so and so and I are meant to be together!!!”) Sometimes I cry. Certain things I wrote about bring back strong emotions and almost transport me back to that time. I’ve recorded the time leading up to my wedding, the day I found I was pregnant with both girls, and my feelings the night before their births. I’ve written about hurtful things or confrontations I’ve had with people. I’ve vented and written in huge letters to show that I was angry and yelling at God. My journal is where I write my deepest thoughts. Do you journal? If not, I’d like to give you some reasons and tips to start!
How To Start
1. Buy a journal you enjoy writing in.
It can a plain old notebook but I suggest a nice hardback journal. Something that feels special to write in. I also have a specific size I like as well. I want the journal to be pretty because I’m going to spend several months looking at it and putting my thoughts down on paper. Use whatever works for you and makes you happy. It may even be your computer. I still prefer the pleasure of writing by hand.
2. Start writing once or twice a week.
If this is your first time journaling you may even feel a little silly writing random thoughts and feelings on a paper. Start purposefully putting something in your journal once a week. Write about your day. Write your thoughts on something. Write WHY you’re starting this journal. Write a poem. Whatever you feel like writing, write it. No matter what it is. Once you start doing that you’ll find that you look forward to it and want to write more as time allows.
3. Write about anything.
And I mean about anything. It’s your personal journal. For your eyes only. You can write any way you want. It may seem like everything has to be formal and proper when you first sit down to write.
It doesn’t.
Since it’s your journal you can be as random and disjointed as you want. Or as proper and put together as you want. Remember this is for you. It’s supposed to be fun. If sitting down to write a formal and proper entry makes you dread it- don’t do it that way! I write in my journal like I’m talking to a friend. I even start every page with “Dear Diary” still! I use my own short hand for some stuff. Sometimes my handwriting is sloppy. Sometimes it’s neat. Some days I write slowly. Others I’m writing so fast that I have to read my writing a couple of times to understand what I wrote. Some days I put my thoughts in bullet format. Some days I write in large paragraphs. I write about my week. I write about my kids. I write about how I feel about something. I’m not formal at all. My purpose is to get my thoughts, feelings and memories on paper. I find writing in my journal liberating, therapeutic and freeing.
4. Use highlighters, markers and stickers.
Yes! Let out your inner teen-aged girl. Write a Bible verse that is special to you in purple marker. Highlight it. Write your husband’s and your name inside a heart. Be silly and have fun. If something great has happened to you write it in big letters with a marker and put stickers around it! That’s what I do! You may feel silly shouting it to your neighbor but you can shout it out on paper. With sparkly stickers!!
Why Journal:
5. Journaling is a great way to record memories, special events and special dates.
Yes, scrap books and baby books are great. But sometimes there’s little things that you may not be able to put in a scrap book or baby book. Maybe their are little things that are just for you to remember.
In the back of my journals I keep a running list of special dates that happened during the time I used that journal. For some reason, I’m a stickler about remembering and knowing the right date for certain events and occasions. So I record it. The day we went to the beach last summer. The days I had my girls’ birthday parties. The week we went to Texas in October and the list goes on.
I also use my journal as a scrap book and baby book of sorts. I glue pictures that are special to me in the pages. Movie ticket stubs to a movie I found particularly enjoyable. Programs, invitations and any other miscellaneous thing that I find special. Whatever little thing that holds some special memory or thought I glue in those pages. In one of my journals I have pressed some rose petals from the bouquet of roses Mike brought home to me the night we found out I was pregnant with Katelyn. I have notes and letters from friends from highschool in my high school journals. Again, you can put whatever little scraps you want in your journal! I recommend that you do just that. It may sound silly and juvenile but you will find that those little bits and pieces of your life you put in there become little treasures later on.
6. You can record how far you’ve come.
Since I write very personal things in my journal I’ve been able to see how far I’ve come in certain areas of my life. Whether it’s weight loss, an exercise program, something you’re asking God to change in you…write about it! Then see how far you’ve gone in six months. It’s encouraging and eye opening.
Remember the list of dates I wrote about above? Some dates are special only to you. The day you feel a certain prayer request was answered. The day you had a special “epiphany” about something. The Bible talks about how important it is to remember what God has done. I find this a great way for myself to record and remember what God has done in my life and how He is stretching and increasing my faith. And it’s all in baby steps. Those steps need to be recorded.
7. It’s therapeutic.
Sometimes we just need to get our emotions out there. We disagreed with someone at work. We can’t stand this person at church but don’t feel right talking about it. We feel betrayed by a loved one. We’re feeling a little depressed and lonely and don’t know why. As women, there are certain emotions, thoughts and feelings we have that our husbands may not understand. Or, that they may not want to talk about over and over again! There’s also a certain amount of guilt we feel about even feeling a certain way about something. We have issues we need to work through. You can write that in your journal. Get those feelings on paper! You will feel a lot better. I’ve filled up a few pages with big , angry handwriting. I’ve written things like WHY, LORD????? Or SO AND SO IS SUCH A JERK!!! I’ve even just written I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW!!!! “UGH!!!” and “GRRRR”. Yes, I’ve written those things. As petty as it sounds I’ve written it. It enables me to calm down, get some perspective and move on.
You can learn a lot about yourself when being completely honest in your journaling.
8. Record prayer requests and Bible verses that are close to your heart.
I LOVE reading a journal from the year before when it seemed like God wasn’t going to answer a certain prayer. Only to see recorded in my journal how God did answer that prayer the following year.
It’s still fun ( and heartbreaking at the same time) to read my thoughts and feelings on when I was trying to get pregnant for the first time. How upset I was. How angry. How jealous. And then to read in the very next entry that I found out I was! It was great to read my thoughts from one week to the next. To say how God changed my life in an instant. Those are great reminders of how God is working in our life. When you need some reminding go back and read what you wrote in a previous journal. On many occasions I’ve also taken a whole page to write “GOD IS GREAT!!!” AND “THANK YOU, LORD!!!” (Lest you think I only write in big letters when I’m upset)
9. Write a journal for your children.
If you so choose, you could write a journal dedicated to your children for them to read in the future. You could journal your thoughts and feelings on them as they grow. Write words of encouragement. Then give it to them at their highschool graduation.
10. Record poems and words to songs that touch you.
There are many songs that are meaningful to me. I’ll write them in my journal to help remember the words and further impress them in my mind and heart.
I hope that if you have never journaled before that this post will help encourage you to do so.
If you do journal, do you have any other thoughts on it?
For more Top Ten Tuesday check out Oh Amanda!
23 Months
Monday, June 21st, 2010
I serve an awesome God. I serve a great God. I serve a God who can turn things around in a blink of an eye if He so wills it. So before you think that this is going to be a “depressing” post about how long I’ve been trying to conceive I assure that it’s not. It’s a post about how God is working in me. (And maybe a few of my own ramblings thrown in)
(Oh, and I’m writing this at 7:15 in the morning on my deck on this beautiful, sunny, warm morning. The birds are chirping. It’s just right!)
Where was I? Oh yes! 23 months. We’ve been trying to get pregnant now for 23 months. Why is that number important? Because it took me 22 months to get pregnant with Katelyn. So, it’s now officially taking us longer than it did to conceive Katelyn. And that kind of scares me. As silly as it sounds, the 22 months that it took us to get pregnant with Katelyn was kind of a “marker” for me, so to speak. I had told the Lord that it couldn’t possibly take us longer than 22 months. I had been pretty confident that it wouldn’t take that long. Now that it’s passed that it’s like it’s opened up a whole new time frame for me. So, will it actually hit TWO years of trying now? Will it go past that? That’s whole new territory for me.
And the other thing is, did my my miscarriage make our trying to conceive start back to zero? These are things I think about!!! And speaking of my miscarriage….
Since it all happened so quickly I’ll admit to wondering…….. if I was ever really pregnant. Yes, those doubts have been crossing my mind which is making it hard to have closure. It’s making it hard to actually say “miscarriage” anymore with total confidence and peace. It’s making it hard for me to put myself in the category of Women Who’ve Had {real} Miscarriages. I keep thinking “What if those two tests were wrong?”, “What if I was just 6 days late?”. Granted I’ve never been that late but, things happen, right? It’s all so surreal now.
My doctor certainly shrugged it off as an “early miscarriage”. I didn’t get any of the advice that other women have gotten after a miscarriage. And maybe it’s because I went to my Primary Care physician instead of an OB. I wasn’t in the care of an OB yet so I didn’t have that option.
So, there you go…. my dilemma. I now feel like I can’t say with total peace and certainty that what I had was a real miscarriage. I now feel uncomfortable talking about it or even getting “consoled” by loving and caring people because I keep thinking ” What if….”. What if I got all those lovely cards, prayers, hugs, words of encouragement and sympathetic hugs…. for a fluke?? What if I’m a fake? However, I’m still dealing emotionally with loss! With a loss that, in my mind, may have been a false positive!
So, I may never know for sure until I get to Heaven if it was “real” or not. I may have to choose to believe it was real and go with the “evidence” that was given to me. The joy we felt for those 6 days is worth it. And maybe the Enemy is trying to make me have doubts. One thing I do know- God’s love is real. My relationship with Him is real. His work in me is real. The family and blessings He’s given me is real.
I’ve been praying so much for God to work in me here lately. To change me. I need changing so badly! To be a better mom and wife. Just to be a better person in general. It’s so easy to write stuff on a blog and make yourself sound wonderful.
Two principles that really struck a chord with me from our recent study of Beth Moore’s “Esther: It’s Tough Being A Woman” are these:
*God can turn the tables of our life anytime.
Beth gave the participants an exercise that I really enjoyed. She took 9 scenarios that make being a woman “tough” and created a worksheet with them. Them under them she had us write a verse in the Bible that directly corrolates to that but shows how God can completely change that issue. We were then to write on our own time the “tough” scenario on one side of a notecard and the verse that shows that God change that scenario on the other side. So whenever we’re going through one of those trials or insecurities all we have to do is look on the other side of the note card to see how God can change that issue for us. He completely turned the tables { for the better!} for Esther and the Jews when things looked their bleakest for them. He turned the tables on evil Haman too. Haman went from smug and sure things were going his way and then he ended up hanging from the gallows he intended for Mordecai! { I encourage you to read the whole story of Esther in the Bible if you never have. Just read the book of Esther!) Things were going one horrible, certain direction for the Jews yet God completely changed their course. He can do that for us too. He can turn our mourning into feasting.
* If_____________ then GOD.
Have you ever thought or said ” I don’t know what I’d do if __________ happened” ? Well, Beth presented to us that no matter what happens to us there will always be God. And He will lift us from the pit. So the point of the phrase is “If (blank because it doesn’t matter WHAT you put here) then GOD” God is the end all be all. He will sustain us. NO MATTER WHAT.
And on a much smaller scale, God still wants to work on little ol’ me. My issues don’t have to be my issues anymore. Things I think I can’t let go of I CAN let go of. Things don’t have to stay the same. I don’t have to stay the same. God can change me. I just have to be willing to let go.
I’ve written some things/issues/ requests on paper that I’m handing over to God or that I want to be rid of completely. I’m going to pray over each one and then I’m going to rip each paper and throw it away. It may sound silly but it’s symbolic for me. That I’m getting rid of extra “baggage”. That I can change and I don’t have to be the way I am about certain things.
FREEDOM!
And now…. my time is up for blogging. My girls are out here on the deck with me and we need to officially start our day. Mike has the day off today so we can get some stuff done.
If you took the time to read this whole post…..thank you!! Have a blessed day.
Happy Father’s Day To My Dad
Saturday, June 19th, 2010
Dear Dad,
There are millions of dads in the world but we got the best one. Thank you for being such a great man of God. You’re a wonderful example of biblical surrender to Christ. ( My dad is a pastor for those of you who don’t know!)
We love you and think you’re the greatest!
On this 2010 Father’s Day we’d like to say: (Sorry about the size. You’ll have to zoom in to read the messages!)
(Notice the Bible and mustaches. Ahem)
Apparently, my siblings are more creative in their messages than I am….
And last but not least, a message from ol’ Benny…
WE LOVE YOU!! HAPPY FATHER’S DAY FROM ALL OF US!!
*One last note…. my camera is sorta broken and consistently taking pictures. I had to be happy with the pictures my camera actually captured. Sorry for the poor quality!
Losing It Week 14
Thursday, June 17th, 2010
I can already tell you this week was better for this reason alone—– I exercised! I exercised two days (not counting today). So, yes, it was only 2 days but it was better than the nothing I did last week. I’ll tell you the problem I’m having with exercising. I have two windows of opportunity during the day that I find the best to exercise. If I’m not home for most of the day and miss those two windows I feel like my day is shot for exercising. I’m usually too tired in the evenings but have made the effort before. I know I’m not quite “there” yet mentally when it comes to exercise. I have to get back to the fully committed place I was before.
Being on a strict food budget has really helped Mike and I both cut down on our eating. We’re eating smaller portions of our favorite foods to make them last longer! I’ve also been making more foods from scratch which in turn saves money and makes them healthier. (Well, for the most part. Cake is cake is cake, no matter if it came from a box or from scratch, right??)
Anyway, here are my “stats” this week:
- I ended up actually gaining a pound! I’m not worried since I know I can lose it by being consistent with my exercise and moderate eating.
- I ate pretty well again this week. I didn’t gorge myself but I didn’t deprive myself either. Apparently I need do need to do a little more depriving! I may have to go back to counting calories again.Not sure about that, though.
So, how did you do this week? I REALLY want to encourage my friends and family who are trying to lose weight and keeping track of their progress on blog already to join this accountability group (You know who you are!!) It really makes a difference. You get a whole cheering section for yourself!
Link up to Kathy’s Losing It weight loss accountability meme over at House Of Hills.
Top Ten Tuesday- Father’s Day Edition
Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
I’m going to guess I’m not the only one writing about how great my husband is today? Since Father’s Day is coming up I thought I would make a Top Ten all about Mike.
So….here are ten things about my husband that make him such a great father-
1. He works hard. Very hard.
2. He’s smart. I mean, after all, he did marry me. In all seriousness, he has a degree in Chemical Engineering.
(No this is not OUR wedding picture! I’ve been asked that many times. I did not get married in a pink, bridesmaid’s dress. We were both in a friend’s wedding two years ago.)
3. He’s willing to do pink.
4. He loves his daughters and is willing to play pretty much anything with them as much as he can!
5. He loves the Lord and is faithful in serving him.
6. He is the most helpful person you’ll ever meet.
7. He is helping me raise our daughters in the Lord and teach them about the Love of Jesus.
(That’s Mike’s father in the picture with them. He’s also a great man! Hmm, wonder where Mike gets it.)
8. He is way more patient than me when it comes to disciplining our daughters. He will usually resort to silly humor that always diffuses the situation. He’s kind of a softie that way. (But don’t tell him I said that!)
9. He takes education seriously and wants our daughters to have the best future possible.
10. He’s just a wonderful man and we are so blessed to have him in our life!
You can see more fun Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda. Link up with your Top Ten!
Horse And Carriage?
Monday, June 14th, 2010
I came across this post last Friday night that was apparently causing quite a stir in the blogosphere. After you read the first highlighted post you can also read about the Completing Him challenge straight from Courtney’s blog here. Before I tell you what I think of Scary Mommy’s post as well as Courtney’s I’ll give you guys a minute to read it.
…………………………..
Ok. Done? Ready?
What are your thoughts on Scary Mommy’s post? What are your thoughts on Courtney’s Completing Him challenge and her views on marriage?
I understand that Scary Mommy’s whole “thing” is snark and sarcasm so I’m not too surprised by what she wrote and how she wrote it in regards to her thoughts on the challenge. She totally thinks Courtney’s challenge is a bunch of crap and used her blog and sarcastic way of writing to make fun of it. I get that. What I was taken aback by was the comments by her readers! Whoa! Way over the top nastiness!! Comments on her looks? Comments that her husband is probably cheating on her? I was taken aback by the rock bottom level some of these women sunk to. (And I shouldn’t be because I’ve seen these kinds of comments on other blogs). The whole thing just felt mean and uncalled for.
Wow!!
Apparently, marriage and the roles in marriage are a HOT and touchy topic in bloggyland. I just don’t “get” nasty and downright mean comments. I just don’t. Call me crazy. Call me naive. I know you put yourself “out there” when your blog is public and you open yourself up to criticism. I have read so many blog posts and comments that I couldn’t agree less with. If I feel so strongly about what the blogger wrote that I feel I must reply I leave a respectful comment about it. I would never resort to negative comments on their appearance, thoughts on what their husband are probably doing on the side or on how I think their IQ is limited. Usually I don’t reply at all and move on. Unfortunately, too many women lead, nice, proper and even, dare I say, Christian lives during the day but then get on their computer and unleash their inner “mean girl” onto other bloggers because they can hide behind their computer thousands of miles way.
As to what I think about Courtney’s marriage challenge…I’m not sure. I have to admit that a little what-about-me attitude sprung up a bit. I know she’s totally doing this challenge with the right heart and for the right reasons. I totally respect and admire her for that. I think her ministry to women is wonderful! But…not sure this challenge is for me.
I know what the Bible says about marriage. I know how it talks about wives submitting to their husbands and husbands being the head of the household. I agree and believe all of that. However, there are so many different ideas on what “biblical submission” in marriage is.
Here, take a gander at Ephesians 5:21-33 yourself…
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
I believe God created marriage for a purpose. I believe He does have a plan and a blueprint for how marriage should be. His design is the absolute best.
But what does “wives submit to your husbands” mean to you? My take is this:
We’re a team. A partnership in this marriage. But in this partnership Mike is the president and I’m the vice president. Mike has the final say so. He will also answer to God one day for how he lead our family. That’s a lot of responsibility! These verses don’t only talk about wives submitting to husbands. It talks about husbands loving their wives like Christ loved the church. Christ died for his church! That’s a lot of love!! I think too many people blow this chapter way out of proportion and get their panties in a twist over it. When I’m doing my part in showing love and respect to Mike and honoring him as the head of my home and he in turn is loving and treating me as if it were himself then that’s a lot of love , honor and respect flowing from both sides.That’s a great marriage right there! It’s all in the attitude and the spirit by which you view and live out your marriage. If you’re coming at it from a stand point of nitpickiness ( well, who’s job is it to do the dishes?I do them way more than he does…waahhh) and keeping a score card then your marriage will suffer. It doesn’t matter who does the dishes or the cooking. Each couple works out those details however it works for their marriage. It’s the attitude and the spirit that counts. If you’re doing all the dishes, cooking the meals, cleaning the house and rubbing your husband’s feet every night when he comes from work, but doing it with resentment and a terrible attitude than….you’re missing the point! That’ s not what this passage is talking about. Talk with your husband and work something out that works for both of you.
So…. lots of food for thought.
What do you think? Do you like to unleash your inner “mean girl”? Are you at peace with her and don’t think it’s a problem to lambaste other bloggers in their comment section? What do you think of the Completing Him challenge? What are your thoughts on marriage?
Oh boy, I really want to hear from you guys on this!
p.s In case you were wondering, Courtney does respond (in a Christ like and class way) to ScaryMommy and all other naysayers of her challenge here. You can also read a great article that ShePosts wrote about ScaryMommy and Courtney here.
Losing It Week 13
Friday, June 11th, 2010
Let me get this out of the way before we move on with my weight loss recap this week.
I didn’t get on the elliptical this week. I could offer up a bunch of reasons why I didn’t but I won’t. *sheepish grin*
I did find the power cord to it (lost during renovations) and it’s ready to go. I just need to actually get on it.
I maintained for another week.
However, I promise I haven’t given up!
I ate pretty good this week and have found some healthier snacks that I enjoy. I have some cookouts and parties coming up and it’s going to be so hard to not overeat. But, I also have to wear a bathing suit this summer so that’s also a motivator.
Sorry for the boring post!
For more interesting and way more inspiring recaps head over to House Of Hill’s Losing It link up.
