Archive for April, 2010
Losing It Week 10
Friday, April 30th, 2010
Unfortunately this last Losing It post isn’t going to be filled with excitement like I was hoping. But since it was the last week I couldn’t NOT post. You ladies have been AWESOME to follow and watch progress in your weight loss and fitness goals.
Last week I blogged about how I had just found out I was pregnant. Well I lost the baby two days ago.
But, that’s not what I want to talk about here.
I really enjoyed this challenge and want to thank Mary, Jessie and Ashleigh for hosting it! It really helped me in having some accountability. Obviously, I didn’t weigh or do any form of exercise this week.
My final stats are 10 pounds down, several inches lost and 5% of my body weight lost. Energy gained, a new lifestyle started. Once things settle down I plan on getting right back on that elliptical and continuing in my weight loss goals. I’ll miss updating you each week!
I’ve been so inspired by the success and commitment I’ve read each week on each of your blogs and updates. You all should be very proud of yourselves.
You guys are awesome!
Yesterday I was. Today I’m Not.
Wednesday, April 28th, 2010
Yesterday I was PREGNANT! I was going to have my 2010 baby. My Christmas baby. I was finally starting to wrap my head around the fact that I was finally pregnant. Then today all of that was shattered. I miscarried. And that really sucks. I was making plans, looking at baby stuff. Getting all excited. Now I’ll forget for a little bit and then remember that I’m not pregnant anymore and I’ll start crying all over again.
I started spotting yesterday and then it went away. I know that can be pretty normal at the beginning of a pregnancy. Then I started spotting more right before and during our FPU class. Yes, I went to to the class get my mind off what I figured was going on. Of course, the pregnant couple who started out with us brought their adorable, brand new baby boy to class. I congratulated them and all the while was thinking ” How ironic. I’m most likely losing my baby right now”. But I kept hoping and praying. Then I developed the mother of all migraines and was up all night moaning and tossing and turning from pain, vomiting and watching my spotting get heavier and stop. And then start up all over again. I swear I even got a little delirious at one point. It’s all a huge nightmarish haze now.
We got up this morning and headed to the doctor. All the way there I prayed and begged God to still let me miraculously still be pregnant. That I knew He could do that if He wanted to. They took blood work and told me that , indeed, I was not pregnant anymore. That I’d most likely had an early miscarriage. The doctor I saw today is the main doctor of the practice but I’ve never actually seen her before. I usually see the Nurse Practitioner, Angela, who I really like. The Doc I saw today must have said every cliche in the book about miscarriages. She said ” Was this your first?” I told her that no, it was my third. And she replied ” Oh! You already have two? Then why do you want more for? Isn’t two enough???”
WHAT?? What kind of question is that??
Then she told me that it was probably for the best because that was nature’s way of telling me early on that there was something probably wrong with the baby and it could have had Down Syndrome or something.
I was thinking ” You have got to be the worse person at comforting I’ve ever met!”
And so what if the baby had Down Syndrome? I would have still wanted it!
Mike has been doing his best to comfort. Obviously he’s upset too. We both know the pregnancy was still very early in and that it was better to have happened this early than later on.
It still HURTS. I still can’t believe it. I’m still angry.
I’m overwhelmed with everything right now. My upside down, hugely disorganized and messy house. How behind I am on keeping track of our spending. My piles of laundry EVERYWHERE. I don’t want to cook dinner or see anybody.
I forget what day it is and what obligations I have.
I just want to sit and hug my girls and watch t.v.
And cry. And be mad.
I’m also exhausted from not sleeping last night.
Everyone has been so wonderful with the comments and outpouring of love on Facebook and Twitter. All the comments have made me cry even more, but, in a good way. Everyone is trying, in their own way, to say the right thing. There’s no right think to say but I appreciate every single comment.
We tried to do something “normal” this evening as a family. We went to the mall for dinner at Chick-Fil-A and then to the pet store next to the mall to get more fish. While there a lady behind me commented on how the dog in line in front of me was pregnant. I wanted to laugh at the irony. Oh,and I also had to stop at Wal-Mart to buy feminine hygiene products. I’ve never hated having to need those things more than I did today.
I know God is in control. I know there is a reason for this. I’m still mad at God for allowing it. And I know there are so many other women out there that have gone through miscarriages and losses many times over. I don’t know how they do it. Once is plenty for me.
I’m frustrated because I have no control over this. First of all, I never actually thought a miscarriage would happen to me! That always seemed like something that happened to other women. I can’t control or dictate when I’ll get pregnant again. And then, who’s to say I won’t miscarry then too?
It just sucks. Plain and simple.
Now I won’t be having a baby this year. I don’t get to be a part of the group of women I know who I was supposed to continue to be pregnant with.
I just wrote a post on my TTC support blog about how I was going to close it down for now so I could focus on getting myself together, prioritized and ready for this coming baby. I won’t be closing that blog down like I thought. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to close it down in the first place. Other women hurting doesn’t stop because I got pregnant and life doesn’t stop because I’m not anymore.
Please keep me in your prayers. I know this isn’t the end of the world. I know I”m still richly blessed and I know my God is still good.
God is still good.
He gives and He takes away.
But He is still and forever will be good.
Top Ten Ways Our Life Is In Disarray Right Now
Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
This week for Top Ten Tuesday I’d like to show you how our life is in a bit of disarray right now. Mike decided to sand and re-stain our bedroom, dining room and playroom floor.
Top Ten Ways Our Life Is In Disarray Right Now
1. EVERYTHING is covered in sawdust. Everything.
This is Mike sanding our bedroom floor. We tried( to no avail) to get our dresser out but it won’t round the corner in our tiny upstairs hallway. It was either leave it in the bedroom or carry it all the way downstairs. And there was no where to put it in our living room! So Mike is doing our bedroom in two steps to work around the dresser!
2. Sleeping arrangements tight.
We’re sleeping In our girls bedroom. We just finished the floors in there so we hadn’t moved them back in there yet. It’s a very messy, over filled, tight squeeze. You should see the room the girls are sleeping in! Then again, it’s probably best that you don’t. There’s no where to walk!
4. Our stuff is crammed into odd places and we can’t get to any closets!
5. Our living is now the dining room and play room as well.
6. Stuff is stacked everywhere and we can’t find anything.
Even our poor birds have something stacked on top of their cage!
7. We can’t get to our basement (where our laundry room is located) from the inside of the house because, yep, there’s stuff stacked at the top of the stairs too. So I have to go outside and go into the basement from the side entrance. It’s been real fun carrying laundry baskets in and out like that. Not!!!
8. I have no convenient “office” to speak of right now so I have not where to put my laptop with our excel spreadsheet on it. All of our bills and paperwork is spread all over the living room and it’s completely disorganized. Our tracking for spending is not up to date and we’re going to have to catch up on all of that.
9. The girls have no where to play! Other than the living room and their bedroom. And you’ve seen the living room. On nice days I send them outside. Thankfully we haven’t had a lot of rainy days. The floors should be finished this week. Mike was supposed to put the last coat of polyurethane on the floors last night but he got home from work at almost midnight so that didn’t happen! The gall!
10. Oh, then there’s this:
But this has put our lives in good disarray! It’s a huge blessing!!
Head over to Oh Amanda for more great Top Ten Tuesday posts!
Wherein Katelyn gets the “Rachel”
Sunday, April 25th, 2010
My girls decided to cut their own hair last week. Don’t ask me why because I thought we were past that stage. Thankfully the damage isn’t too bad.
Okay, first of all, this girl needs to stop growing. She looks fourteen in this picture. See the shorter hair that is framing her face? Yep, that’s what she added herself. It was all one length before. She apparently was going for a “Rachel” hair cut.
Here she decides to start having fun with the fact that I’m taking pictures of her misbehavior. But, if I didn’t do that what kind of mommy blogger would I be?
Think she’s sorry???
Don’t answer that!
Here’s some shots of Madelyn’s hair. Who couldn’t be bothered with us while watching t.v. Or, she may have been sitting on her little potty at the time and didn’t like the fact that I was taking her picture.
But…whatever, right?
She seemed to only have chopped a little chunk of her hair. Her hair has various layers in it since it’s still growing out so this chunk blends in a little better than Katelyn’s layers do.
You can see the chopped layer where it ends right beneath her ear.
Do you think they have futures as hair stylists?
I wanted to share with you some of the funny stuff the girls have been saying recently.
Madelyn insists on being called “Diego”. If you call her “Madelyn” she will calmly say ” My name is Diego.” If Katelyn refuses to call her that she’ll burst into tears and go into hysterics over it.
The other thing Madelyn is going around doing these days is stopping and shouting at me (or whoever else is near by) “ You’re out of the herd!!!
She gets this line from ” Ice Age” which both of the girls adore. She’ll only say it on her terms though. If we stand on our head, bribe and beg her to yell ” You’re out of the herd!!” she refuses to say it.
Madelyn, who is usually my quiet and shy child, found herself quite fascinated by another little girl at dance class the other day. The little girl was playing a hand held video game and her bangs kept falling in to her eyes. Madelyn kept reaching over and wiping her bangs out of her eyes. The little girl just ignored her and kept playing her game. Finally Madelyn looked at me and said ” Does she talk?”
Katelyn has been obsessed with death here lately. She keeps asking me when she’s going to die. Then she’ll say she doesn’t want to die and that she just wants Jesus to take her to Heaven. I’m seriously running out of ideas to get her mind off the subject. I keep telling her she doesn’t have to worry about that right now because it’s not going to happen any time soon. But she’s the type that wants answers now.
Katelyn walked around the grocery store with four fingers in the air the other day. When I asked her what she was doing she said she wanted everyone to know how old she was.
She seriously embarrassed me with a comment at church a few weeks ago. We had been ooohhing and aahing over this tiny newborn girl. She was super dainty and adorable. We then walked over to talk to another acquaintance that has a baby boy who’s about six months old. He’s big and chubby and super cute. As we were walking away she said very loudly ” Mama, I want a cute baby. Not like that one”. I wanted the floor to swallow me up. I don’t know if the mom heard her or not because I just kept walking. I know what Katelyn was trying to say and it wasn’t that she didn’t think the little boy was cute. What she meant was that she wants a newborn, tiny baby. She doesn’t want a big, older baby. I also explained to her that she can’t say things like that because it will hurt people’s feelings.I don’t know if she gets that yet.
I’m still walking around on a pregnancy high. I think it’s too early for me to really start feeling any pregnancy symptoms. I have been very tired but that’s it. I didn’t have morning sickness with either of my two girls so I have my fingers crossed that I won’t get it this time around either. I’m planning to post all about the day I found out I was pregnant.
For now I need to go to bed!
Losing It Week 9
Friday, April 23rd, 2010
Or, otherwise known as Gaining It Week 1.
Yes, I lost a pound last week and I gained a pound this week. I exercised only once this week. I would usually be a tad discouraged about this since I was doing so well, but I’m not!
Wanna know why?
Because I have a good excuse for gaining one pound!
My girls would also like to say something:
So, see? I have a good reason to be gaining weight from now on. I just found out yesterday. If you’ve read my blog for any length of time you know we’ve been trying to conceive for almost 21 months. God answered our prayers in a big way yesterday. I’m just beyond joy and shock. I feel like this is truly a miracle. I’m the type of person that can’t keep being a pregnant a secret for longer than a couple of hours! I get twitchy! So, here I am sharing the news very early on. I trust God wholeheartedly and if anything were to happen I’d want my wonderful friends, family and readers to share in the joy AND the sorrow.
But enough of that morbid talk.
I’ve actually lost weight with my other two pregnancies. After I delivered, I weighed less than when I first started. Let’s hope that’s the case this time!
I do want to continue exercising. I was doing so good with it and getting really consistent. And I know it will be good for me. I’m not going to do any kind of strenuous exercise but I do want stick with this new lifestyle for myself. I want this to be my best pregnancy yet.
I also credit this Losing It challenge to helping me get pregnant! First of all I’ve lost weight and created a healthier lifestyle because of it. I think that may have contributed to better, overall conceiving conditions. All of you have kept me encouraged and accountable. It’s also kept my mind off trying to conceive and excited about weight loss.
THANK YOU!!
I plan to be back next week for the last week of Losing It. I’ll share with you guys on whether or not I’ve exercised and eaten right this coming week. I am truly going to be sad when this challenge is done. I’ve really enjoyed getting to you know ladies and cheering you on in your progress towards your weight loss goals.
So, how was your week??
;o)
Head on over to Giving Up On Perfect to find out how all the other ladies in the Losing It challenge are doing.
I’m So Excited And I Just Can’t Hide It
Thursday, April 22nd, 2010
Wow. Yesterday was a terrible day. I called it a sucky day. I’ll have to blog about it at some point soon. God gave me a much better day today.
This was probably the most exciting thing that happened to us today:
Oh wait… that’s not a very good picture. Let me try this one:
Yep! It’s true!! God has answered our prayers in a big way! I’m….
If you’ve never ready my blog before and don’t know my story at all I’ll just bring you up to speed:
WE’VE BEEN TRYING FOR ALMOST 21 MONTHS TO GET PREGNANT WITH #3 AND FOUND OUT THIS EVENING I’M PREGNANT!!!
Think we’re excited much?
I know, I know, I’m announcing way early. It was that way with my two other girls. This is the type of thing we can’t keep in! I wanted to share with you, my wonderful readers, since you’ve been following my story and offering such wonderful encouragement and support. If something terrible were to happen within the next few weeks and, God forbid, I were to lose the baby I’d still want you guys to know about how God blessed us and would seek your support during our loss. To each his own. That was my little disclaimer!
I’ll share the whole story of how I found etc later. I just wanted to share my good news.
Due date is December 28th.Since I’ll most likely have a c-section and if it happens the same way it did with Madelyn I’ll have the baby on the 23rd. So, I pretty much know when this baby will arrive! I’m just so so thankful God is giving me my 2010 baby!
I’m still in shock and so grateful. Mike and I both cried.
I’d appreciate your prayers!
Google Searches That Make Me Laugh
Wednesday, April 21st, 2010
I know as of the past several weeks I haven’t been posting many family updates or pictures. And I do feel as if my content has been a little lame! I do have some more interesting posts in the works so please don’t leave me!
Anyhoo, as you may remember I enjoy writing some of the weird search terms that have led people to my blog. Sometimes they’re scary, sometimes they’re funny and sometimes they’re…”who searches for stuff like that??!!”
Here are my favorites for the past several weeks:
*Children’s shows I can’t remember*
I don’t think Google will be much help there!
*How many cry during the Star Spangled Banner*
Me!! I’m one. I know exactly how they landed here on that one. I mentioned in a Top Ten post that our national anthem chokes me up every time.
*MckMama Drama/Anti MckMama blogs/MckMama hate/MckMama hate blogs*
I still get many of those hits on my blog because I mentioned MckMama before. My cousin told me that she did that search and my blog was one of the top ones that came up! I like MckMama and you won’t find any MckMama bashing here! For the record. Great, now my blog will still come up in those searches since I mentioned all of those terms here again.
*Good reads blog button*
I hope my blog qualifies as a good read AND I have a blog button too! They came to the right place.
*Why does my best friend make me cry?*
Ok, I thought this one was funny. Maybe they should ask they’re best friend? Just a thought.
*Family prayer on giving to others*
Awww, this is a nice one.
*Top 10 boys favorites*
*Top 10 things kids hate to do*
Clean up. Go to bed. Share. Eat veggies. Go to the doctor. There’s five.
* Cry without teas song*
Ummm.. did they mean “cry without tears song?” Never heard of it!
*Layla Grace suffered so much*
This one made me sad. Obviously someone was searching for blogs mentioning Layla Grace and how much she suffered in her short life.
*Flooding her boots*
Haha! I would love to find out why this person was using this particular search term. If your boots are flooded take them off! Duh!
And my favorite this time around:
*Mel smells of poo*
Who and why are you searching for that? Did someone actually write a blog post about a Mel smelling like poo?
What are some funny Google searches that have landed people on your blog? I’d love to hear them!
Oh, and I’m having a hard time coming up with a clever title to these Google search posts. If you can think of one and I’d like to share it with me please do!
Things That Remind Me of My Youth
Tuesday, April 20th, 2010
I remember back when saying ” 10 years ago” put me at 15 years of age. Now if I say “10 years ago I…” I was 21! I can easily say I remember 20 years ago! Does that strike anyone as funny/amazing? I remember when I was a teen wanting to be and adult and married so much and now I’m finally there! Married with children!
So, for my Top Ten I’m going to list ten things that remind of me of when I was younger.
Top Ten Things That Remind Me Of My Youth
1. Pound Puppies- Remember those?
2. Trapper Keepers- I thought I was so cool having one of those! I had a Lisa Frank one, of course. Then a Barbie one, I believe.
3. Barbies- I had so many Barbies and Barbie accossories. My friends and I would play for hours. I’d still play with Barbies if I could. I still peruse the Barbie aisle when I’m the toy section.
4. My sock monkey- My great grandmother made me a sock monkey when I was a baby and I still have it! It’s old and worn but I will never throw it out! It was my favorite “lovey” when I was little
5. Noxema- Anybody feel me on this one? Anytime I get a whiff of that strong Noxema smell I remember using it as a teen. I still use it sometimes!
6. Exclamation! Perfume- That was my favorite perfume in high school. Old Navy was another favorite. If I smell those it takes me right back.
7. Big bangs and side ponytail- I was the queen of big bangs. I loved those big bangs and thought I looked so cool. I’m sure many of you thought the same thing! I also remember thinking that all the snobby girls on t.v always had side ponytails. You knew who was going to be the snotty, popular girl the second you saw the ones with the side ponytails.
8.Stirrup Pants paired with slouch socks- Did you used to do that? Come on…I know I’m not the only one . That was so cool in the late 80’s. Add some cute hightop sneakers and I was ready to go! That’s why I love the movie ” 13 Going On 30″. That movie is the epitome of the way I dressed in the 80’s and early 90’s.
9. The t.v show ” Full House”- I loved that show. I so wanted to be DJ Tanner. I wanted her hair and her cool clothes.
10. Caboodles- Even if I didn’t have much to put in it I had to have a Caboodle. All my friends had one and I had to have one too!
How about you? What things remind you of your youth?
For more Top Ten Tuesday check out Oh Amanda.
Potty Training FAIL
Sunday, April 18th, 2010
I swore I would have Madelyn potty trained by now. Swore it to myself. It took me a year and a half to get Katelyn potty trained and I told myself it would not take that long for Madelyn.Well, it’s been about 6 months now. She’s not potty trained yet. On days when I have her in underwear she pees constantly all over the floor. Sometimes she says she has to go potty, but usually it’s after she’s already peed in her pants. When I consistently remind her to go (like, every half hour) she”ll peepee in her little potty and stay dry for the most part. But I can’t do that on the days Katelyn is in school!
In my defense our schedule changed a lot right after potty training commenced. Katelyn started her school schedule that has me out of the house from 11-2:30 three days a week. I’m pretty much hanging out in my car or running errands during that time, waiting for her to be done. Much of the time Maddy ends up napping in the car too. It’s not very conducive to potty training! I hate taking Madelyn to the bathroom in public places very often. And if she’s wet and needs to be changed frequently… forget it!!! Call me lazy, but I’d rather not do it.
We also started attending a new church right after we started the potty training thing and I didn’t feel comfortable asking her new Sunday School and Worship Care teachers to take her potty every half hour. And if I were to have done it myself she would have spent a lot of the time crying after I brought her back to her classroom.
So, to be honest, I don’t know what to do. Do I wait to hit it full fledged once Katelyn’s school is done in June? Do I keep up what we’re doing now and hope/pray she eventually just “gets it”? I really do want to get her potty trained but then I wonder if I”m seriously committed to it? I guess this being the second time around it just doesn’t seem that urgent to me.
I’ll leave you with a picture I took a couple of weeks ago. The girls are standing in the tree house my father in law built Mike and his brother when they were little. It matches their “big” house and even has their initial on it. It’s really cute!
Losing It Week 8
Friday, April 16th, 2010
Is it really week 8 already? I’m seriously going to miss these weekly recaps! I’ll continue to post updates on my weight loss journey for my readers but I’ll seriously miss all you lovely #LosingIt10 ladies.
Well, I was able to lose that “Easter pound” I gained. But that was it! I lost no more. I’m back to where I was two weeks ago. I was a tad disappointed since I’ve exercised on my elliptical 4 days this week already! That’s two more that I usually average by my Friday weigh-in each week. But I’m not losing heart and I’m not giving up. I am nearing ” that” time of the month so that could have something to do with my body holding on to some poundage.
I wanted to share two snacks that I’ve found curb my cravings for junk food and desserts.
One is Chocolate Cheerios. They are sooo good! There’s 100 calories for 3/4 of a cup. Not including the calories in whatever milk you choose to put in. But it’s been a great snack for me when I’m craving something sweet while catching up on season 4 of ” Lost” in the evenings with hubby. I feel better about that than grabbing a brownie or Oreos.
The second one is two chocolate graham cracker squares with peanut butter. Even my husband has gotten into that snack! 2 whole crackers are a serving (meaning 4 squares) . That’s 130 calories. But since I only have 2 squares it’s 65 calories. Then I add 1 tablespoon of all natural peanut butter to each square ( at 180 calories per 2 tablespoons) and that is a 245 calories. I know it’s not a 100 calorie snack or anything but it’s definitely satisfying and I feel like these snacks are a tad healthier that cookies or chips!
So, how did you guys do this week?
Check out Giving Up On Perfect to catch up on how all the other Losing It-Not Just My Sanity ladies are doing with their weight loss goals. You can also read about what this challenge is all about over there too.
